Kathleen S. Young

Kathleen Smith Young - Loving Mother, Wife and Friend - Born July 9, 1980; Departed October 30, 2009

"Mrs. Kathleen Smith Young, 29, of Virginia Beach went to be with Our Lord on October 30th, 2009. Mrs. Young was born in Okinawa, Japan the daughter of Herbert Smith and Carol Parker Smith. Katie is survived by her loving husband, Justin Young, her children, Justin and Madison Young. Also surviving are her parents, Herbert and Carol Smith, and her Father and Mother-in-law, Thomas and Patricia Young. Her brother, Steven Smith, sisters, Carrie Sim, and JoEllen Anderson, a brother-in-law, Kenneth Young, sisters-in-law, Tammy McGaugh and Kendra Cranor, as well as several nieces, nephews and cousins, also survive Katie.

Mrs. Young was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints in Virginia Beach. Katie was a loving and caring wife and mother. Her children were her whole world. She is a loving spirit and was dedicated to making others happy and was loved by all who met her and knew her.

In lieu of flowers the family would appreciate donations made to the children's college fund. Donations may be sent in both their names Justin and Madison Young, checks payable to Edward Jones 1642 Pleasure House Road #103 Thoroughgood Commons, Virginia Beach, VA 23455."
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For more information on the faith from which Justin and his family have found strength in weakness, light in darkness and understanding that brings peace, please click here.

Eulogy by Katie's brother, Steven Smith

"Katie, also affectionately known as 'Kate-Bate,' 'Katy-Did' and 'Kate-Kate' came into our lives in Okinawa, Japan while our father was serving in the Air Force. I was 7, Carrie was 5, and JoEllen was 2. She was born only 59 minutes after her cousin Dawn, who had just been born on the other side of the world. She was named after her two grandmothers, Kathleen Smith and Edna Parker.

"Being the baby, my mom intended to keep her that way by giving her a baby fork and spoon at meals until she was 10 or 11. As older siblings, we always felt she got away with a lot because when we were slaving away every Saturday morning with yard and house work; Katie was across the street at her Aunt Kathy’s house playing with her cousins.

"As she grew up, she loved playing with Barbies, so one of my best friends Scott and I built her a 3 story Barbie house for Christmas which included a two car garage, carpeted floors, and real shingles on the roof. She often said it was her favorite Christmas ever. Every year on Katie’s birthday our dad would buy her a corsage and take her out on a date where ever she wanted to go. During her youth she also loved to read and loved to write stories.

"As a young teen she was fortunate to spend summers in the Bahamas and even lived there for her senior year in High School, where she graduated with a huge class of only one other person named Tory. Some of her adventures in the Bahamas included diving for conchs, spearing and eating crawfish, cruising the island on a motor bike, and living on a house boat.

"When she returned to Virginia after graduating from high school, she resumed her habit of making herself at home in the Young house because she and Kendra were such good friends. At this exact time, Justin had just returned from his mission to Colorado. His first memory of Katie was of her coming in and sitting at the kitchen table while their family was eating sub sandwiches. She had a habit of eating off everyone’s plate which the Young’s were entirely used to. Justin says he was a little nervous having such a beautiful girl sitting next to him as a newly returned missionary! He first noticed her big beautiful blue eyes.

"Kendra remembers a time when Katie was staying overnight with her and she went to bed leaving Justin and Katie up talking – when she got up the next morning at 6:00am to her astonishment they were still talking. Kendra says right then and there she felt sick to her stomach realizing she had probably lost her best friend to her brother!

"Long nights of conversation turned into something more and they made plans to marry. Even Hurricane Floyd in 1999 could not stop them from driving to Washington DC temple to get married. Because of the storm they had the temple to themselves. To make the day even more special, after the sealing the temple worker took them aside and privately informed them that their children had witnessed their sealing from the other side of the veil.

"Of all the good times my mom has ever had with Katie over the years her favorite day was being in the House of the Lord watching her baby get married.

"We all have our favorite things we like and Katie was no different. These are just a few of her favorites:

*Favorite place – the beach

*Favorite food – sushi

*Favorite movie – Return to Me and anything Jane Austin

*Favorite saying – "Oh shoot!"

"Of all Katie’s favorites, there was nothing on Earth to compare to her two favorite little ones – Justin and Madison. They were her whole world and not a single day went by without her saying to someone – anyone – “Aren’t they precious?”

"Now for some of our favorite family memories:

"Two summers ago Katie came down to visit me in Florida and I took her for her first surfing lesson. The waves were really small but it didn’t seem to bother her because she was hanging out at the beach with her favorite brother.

"One year ago Carrie called Katie from Sacramento to invite her to go on her company cruise to Cabo, Mexico. They were able to spend time together sight-seeing, shopping, sun-bathing and of course eating. To make the trip more special Carrie put a little gift under Katie’s pillow each evening.

"One of JoEllen and Katie’s favorite things to do was to snuggle up on the couch to watch good movies. Just recently they cozied up to watch a movie, when they realized they had no chocolate. So they made a run to 'Katie’s Wal-Mart' for the biggest bag of M&M’s they could find, all the while they promised themselves they were only going to eat a few. However by the time the movie was over, you guessed it, the entire bag was gone.

"Some of Kendra’s favorite memories were of spending time with Katie in the Bahamas on their many adventures – including their motorbike ride which ended with Kendra jumping off as Katie accidentally rode off the end of the dock into the sea.

"Kendra also remembers what an absolute perfectionist she was when preparing a gift for someone – Katie would agonize over every detail even down to the exact shade of ribbon she would use. Katie was a giver.

"These are a few of our favorite memories… perhaps you have your own memories of Katie as well.

"Katie was the youngest in our family to get married, the youngest to have a baby, and as it turns out, the youngest to receive her Patriarchal Blessing at 13. There is a line in the last paragraph of her blessing that has always caused our family to wonder and question its meaning. It reads:

'It matters not the number of days you live but the direction you set your life’s course upon.'

"We don’t understand all the reasons the Lord has seen fit to take her home at this time. But we have a strong faith that he knows best and whatever the reasons, they will be for her eternal welfare. A scripture in Job chapter 1 sums up the way we feel as a family –

“The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1: 21)

"The Lord gave us our precious Katie and the Lord took away our precious Katie. Let us be thankful for the time we had with my precious baby sister."

Gaveside Sermon, by David Gray

The following is the sermon given by David Gray at the Graveside Service before the dedicatory prayer:

"All of God's creations -- whatever they may be -- the heavens, the Earth, mankind, or the smallest creature upon

the Earth, have a specific purpose. Ecclesiastes tells us that, 'to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.' (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

"Each of us then is on the Earth for our time or season. With this in mind, it is critical to note that to God, the time or season we are on the Earth is not a specified length of time as we would understand it, such as a day, year, or even many years, but for a season sufficient to accomplish the purpose unique to each of us. God likens even the time of the coming of the Savior to the season of the fig tree.

"There are many things about the purpose of Katie's life that should give us pause to rejoice and sing the praises of our Heavenly Father. To know Katie was to know a vibrant spirit full of zest and energy. To know Katie was to know a mother of two wonderful children. To know Katie was to be enriched during our own journey in this life.

"Does each of us feel that Katie's life was too short? Each of us would answer in the affirmative. But was it too short for her to accomplish the purposes that she came to Earth to fulfill. I would have to affirm that she did accomplish those purposes and thereby fulfilled the measure of her creation. So while we will mourn and miss Katie, our hearts must be filled with joy for those things that she did accomplish.

"Today, Mother Earth will perform another of its

sacredfunctions. She will receive, hold, and protect the physical body of Katie until the morning of the resurrection. Today Katie's grave will be dedicated to that purpose. Katie has already been with those who have gone before and will now do the bidding of her Father in Heaven until the glorious day when her spirit and body will be reunited and we will remember the words of the apostle Paul in Corinthians, 'O death where is thy sting, O grave where is thy victory.' (1 Cor. 15:55)

"I would like to close with part of the last verse of 'Come, Come Ye Saints,' which reads as follows:

'And should we die before our journey's through,
Happy day! All is well!
We then are free from toil and sorrow, too;
With the just we shall dwell!' "

"Katie's To-Do List" (Please pass this on)

The day after Katie passed, I was cleaning out her purses...her grand collection of them...her plethora of them...she loved her purses and seemed to have one for each outfit :) She was the queen of accessorizing -- one of the many reasons we loved her so much!

In the small pocket of one her purses I found a yellow copy of a receipt from SuperCuts and I was about to throw it out with the others when I noticed some of her writing on the back. Curious about what she may have written on the back of a receipt, I unfolded it and found a "To Do" list - something she was famous for.

But this was no ordinary "To Do" list. I don't know when she wrote it, only that it was after July 18th of '09, but when I read it, I understood that it was more than just a "To Do" list for her then...it was a "To Do" list for me now...

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*Pray

*Ask Heavenly Father for guidance through every step

*Spend time playing with the kids; teach them to love praying and reading scriptures; hold Family Home Evening [what we call family night once a week]; build strong bonds with them

*Ask for peace from the Holy Spirit

*Be obedient to the commandments

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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's for Mom...

Madi and Justin made their mom Valentine cards to give to her on Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetie! Everyone here loves you!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Madi's Letter

"Dear Mommy,

I know it was your time to die. I love you so much and miss you so much.

I love to go everywhere with you and you are the best mommy ever and

you give me lots of hugs and kisses and I love you mommy.

Dear mommy, Madi wrote this note to you, your daughter."

When children mourn, let them write...

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Little Green Bag

This past weekend, Justin attended Comfort Zone Camp -- a camp for children who have lost loved ones. It is an amazing program, with the most caring, exciting, loving and energetic group of leaders and counselors I've ever seen. They are so focused on these kids and Justin was able to finally open up and share his story and feelings that he has not been able to do at home.

He has told me he doesn't like talking about Mommy 'cause it makes him sad, but at CZC he was surrounded by kids his age and leaders and "Big Buddies" who have all experienced a similar loss.

After a balloon release at the end of camp, I was approached by his Healing Circle group leader and another camp administrator who told me about something Justin wrote and the time and care he put into writing it. They talked about what a beautiful and touching list he made and that he would have kept on going if he'd had a roll of paper big enough...but all he had was a little green bag. His "Big Buddy" Jody, said candles were put in these bags to light the path to the bonfire one evening. They said they would try to find it, take a picture of it and send it to me.

When we came home, I opened his blue suitcase and the first thing I saw was this little green bag...

If you know of any family, whose children need a place like Comfort Zone Camp, or are looking for a worthy non-profit to support either financially or as a volunteer, please visit their website, www.ComfortZoneCamp.org.

Friday, January 1, 2010

From the mouth of babes...

My 4 year old nephew, Carson, woke up the other morning and the first thing he said while still rubbing his sleepy eyes and scratching his little nose was, "Maybe if all the doctors work together, they can fix aunt Katie!"

My sister explained things to him, he understood, he accepted and moved on...

So sweet, so innocent, so pure...

"Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
(Matt. 18: 4)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Katie was Christmas

Katie, like me, and probably like most of us, would start a journal with the intent to keep it up and then let it slide after a few months, a few weeks, a few days, and sometimes just ONE day! :) The first entry usually beginning with the phrase, "I know it's been a long time since the last time I wrote, but..."

I came across some entries from a journal she kept while we were dating and it started out with our first Christmas together. She did the Twelve Days of Christmas for me where each of the 12 days before Christmas she would give me a gift. The 1^st day it was one item, 2^nd day was two items, etc. The only day I remember was the 12^th day. She made me 12 chocolate cupcakes with green icing! They were the best cupcakes I'd ever eaten. By far, the most memorable Christmas I've had. It was memorable because she made it so. That was her gift.

Katie, by nature, was a giving soul. She put so much thought into a gift and who she was giving it to and found so much joy in making people happy or bringing them comfort through the giving of gifts -- even if it was just as simple as 12 cupcakes.

And it wasn't just the gift itself, it was the presentation that she treated as important, if not more so, as the gift itself. Tags were hand crafted with hours spent in creating the design. If it was a package, the ribbon, bow, folding of the ends of the paper were precise, clean, beautiful and perfect -- even if it was wrapping a cheap dollar store item.

(Some may have accused her of being a little OCD -- my contention with that is what's wrong with being a little OCD in serving others & making people happy?)

She had a way of seeing and showing love to those who are easily overlooked or taken for granted, and always included them and made them equal with those who stood in the forefront. I can remember spending hours with her, helping her prepare the gift bags, tags, ribbons, etc...you wanted to help. You were powerless against the gravitational pull of her genuine passion for making others feel appreciated and loved; you wanted to be a part of that -- even if it was cutting 100 pieces of ribbon and making sure they were all the same size or constructing 15 gingerbread houses for children to decorate the next day.

She loved giving, she loved receiving, she had a way of using the right words and doing the right things to make you feel loved -- even if it wasn't Christmas!

Friday, December 25, 2009

"Your Eyes (Katie's Song)"

(The following are the lyrics to the song I wrote & sang for Katie when we were married. It incorporated every aspect of our relationship to that point and I've included little footnotes to explain the background on the lyrics.)

Sharing 'twitterpated' smiles

In a smokey malt shop
Is where it all began.

I made you laugh
And that's when I knew
I'd never let go of your hand.¹

When the ocean wind blows
You'll find us dancing
And the clouds beneath out feet;

And with the midnight stars
To guide us
Is where our souls will meet.²

'Cause in your eyes I've seen a light
Lifting me higher than my dreams.
When it seemed that nobody cared
You were always there.

In your loving arms I've held the angels
As your voice carries me to sleep.
With each other to call our own

In this Heaven,
We'll make our home.³

Staying up till dawn
Sharing stories of a
Future going by too fast.⁴

Everyday
Is like a new beginning
As we let go of the past.⁵

Let your tears rest on my shoulder
As you close your sparklin' eyes.⁶

I'll stay by you forever.
I'll sing you your lullaby.⁷

'Cause in your eyes I've seen a light
Lifting me higher than my dreams.
When it seemed that nobody cared
You were always there.

In your loving arms I've held the angels
As your voice carries me to sleep.
With each other to call our own
In this Heaven,
We'll make our home.

¹ For part of our first date, we went to the Jewish Mother at the oceanfront and shared a chocolate milkshake. She laughed so hard at one of my stupid jokes she sprayed out milkshake all over my face! That's all I needed to solidify the fact that this was my girl! And that from that time forward I would never let go of her, even during times when she may let go of me, I would never let go of her.

²After our date, we went out on the beach itself -- around 70^th street, so it was quiet and dark with nothing but the moon and stars for our light. We always said the lights on the horizon from buoys or passing ships were people taking our picture and we would slow dance as I would sing to her or to the music of the waves. Almost every date ended or took place on that beach and it was only fitting that it was where I finally proposed to her.

³ Most of the chorus here is self-explanatory. But about her "voice carrying me to sleep" -- we would stay up talking so late the last thing I would remember hearing was her soft and sleepy voice.

⁴ Again, we would, especially in the beginning of our relationship, stay up all night on my parents' couch, with the t.v. on in the background and just talk about life and how crazy fast time was flying. (We would always stay up until "Monkey Movies" came on t.v. at about 5am.)

⁵ I would always tell her "the past is in the past, we all make mistakes, and we will always make mistakes, let's just let it go, learn from it and move forward."

⁶ Katie was an emotional girl as we all know and was extreme in all her emotions -- in other words, she felt very deeply. Into my shoulder was her favorite place to cry and I was always able to comfort her and make her laugh once she released her tears. The first thing she'd laugh about is how wet my shirt was afterward.

She was my "sparklin' eyed girl." For eleven years I always told her "your eyes are sparklin'" or any variation of it. Her eyes were truly a window to her soul and could hide nothing from me. I knew what she was thinking before she even said it. If she ever said it. We would laugh about how bad a liar she was, but I would never say anything, even if I knew what she may have been keeping back at times.

She always confessed, even in an email and in a conversation we had the very week before she passed, that I knew her better than anyone else could know her, that she knew me equally as well and that she knew I loved her more deeply and unconditionally than any man ever had, ever could or ever would.

⁷ There was a lullaby a friend and I wrote that was the last track on the album we produced before Katie and I were married and she would always ask me to sing it to her (after her favorite Billy Joel songs :)

"I'll stay by you forever" means just that. Many of us believe "forever" has a starting point then goes on and has no end. To start then never stop. That is not true. "Forever," in the true sense of the word (even if Webster disagrees) is eternal; meaning without beginning of days and without end; meaning unrestricted by time, distance and space. I always said and always felt that I loved her before I knew her. And I did ...with a love the carnal man cannot comprehend.

We have been together throughout our entire existence -- not just in this life. My love for her runs deep, far before this world began, long before I met her in this mortality, and it extends beyond the boundaries of time, growing brighter, stronger, filling every corner of space, accepting, forgiving and expelling any darkness left over from worldly claims, reaching out into the eternities...

forever...

...without end.

"Miss you, babe..."

Friday, December 18, 2009

A fitting song... "Saying Goodbye"

One of my favorite movies as a kid was "Muppets Take Manhattan." My favorite song from that movie, and all time favorite Muppet song is "Saying Goodbye" and even though I haven't seen the movie in well over a decade, I find myself singing that song pretty regularly.

It popped in my head again today and I found the lyrics to be very fitting and appropriate to describe our feelings (at least mine) at this time. I have posted the lyrics my singing of it below.

If song doesn't play click here.

Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say
Touching a hand, wondering why
It's time for saying goodbye

"Saying goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we've had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye

Dont want to leave, but we both know
Sometimes it's better to go

Somehow I know we'll meet again
Not sure quite where, and I dont know just when
You're in my heart, so until then
Wanna smile, wanna cry
Saying goodbye

La la la la la la la la
It's time for saying goodbye"